Top Chef, season 6, episode 8

Oh, coming back from vacation is a hard and painful thing to do. Especially when you didn't have any cable over your vacation and you've only just caught up with your shows.

How delighted was I, lover of all things pork, to see that the latest episode of Top Chef featured a challenge at an event called PIGS AND PINOT. OMG! Pork! Wine! Perfection! Charlie Palmer might be my new food hero. (Don't worry Mark and Jose, I still hold you both closely to my little heart.) Can I just mention how MUCH I want to go to this event next year? (It's in March, time to get out the travel planner!)

I don't actually drink red wine, regrettably, because I get terrible headaches from it (as does my mother). I've had these terrible headaches anytime I've been given medicines with sulfates in them, and the sulfites in red wine are what does me in. It's a shame, because I'd really like to be able to enjoy red wine, but I just don't want to have to pay for it with a borderline migraine later. Alas!

I LOVE KEVIN. I love that he loves pork, I love that he has a pig tattoo, I love that he is so calm and level-headed, and I love that he is so thoughtful about everything he does. Oh, chubby nerd, I love you. (Don't worry, Jeremy, you're the only one for me at the end of the day!)

But it hurt my heart to see Ash do what he did to that tenderloin. Oh, Ash. I adore pork tenderloin. ADORE IT. My mother makes a pork tenderloin every year for Christmas Eve dinner, and I have to say that what she does to it is nothing short of a celebration of the pork. It's so simple: she marinates it in mojo, a Cuban gravy (this warrants its own future entry, trust me), which is olive oil, garlic, lemon, and citrus. So simple, so easy. SO scrumptious. It marinates overnight and roasts in a special roaster bag for hours and hours. It is a heavenly, soft, melty party in your mouth. But Ash's cold little slices of tenderloin just didn't look yummy. Don't be chillin' that shit! Serve it warm! Serve it with some scrumptious, light sauce and some fantastic side dishes (black beans and rice!) and let the fiesta start.

I was sad to see Ash go because he's a nice gent, but I wasn't surprised. He just hasn't been doing well at all. He's been in the bottom a lot, he second-guesses himself, and he also seems to defer to other chefs as being more talented than him. It's one thing to admit that you are among strong and talented competition, but you need a level of self-confidence and "I'm all that" to be on this show. For as much as I hate Mike Isabella, he has the right attitude toward this show: I'm awesome and I'm going to win. You need to have this attitude if you're really going to go far and win. That said, I REALLY hope he doesn't win.

And the next episode: RESTAURANT WARS! Sorry, I'm using too many capitals in this entry, but I'm really excited. This is the best episode of Top Chef!

Also... Toby Young compared wine to armpits. Only Toby Young compares wine to armpits.

CHEFTESTANT FAIL # 9!