Top Chef, season 6, episode 7

Okay, seriously? Seriously. WTF was Padma wearing last night?

I know, I know, I'm supposed to be discussing Top Chef and talking about the food and the cooking and not acting like this is an episode of Project Runway, but seriously. Indulge me for a minute and let me talk about this. Holy bicycling Christ, did she look horrendous. She was wearing this sort of billowy sleeveless green top, which was fine---but then her skintight pants were exactly the same color.

I ask you: WTF? How was this outfit okay? How did the producers of the show allow her to appear looking like this?

Although Padma has been having quite a few fashion fails lately; remember her dress at the Emmys? The one that looked like entrails were gushing out of one side of her torso?











Ugh! Anyway, I'm going on a tangent and I should stick to talking about the food, but it's just too irresistably fun to bash someone for their freakish sense of style. Not to mention there is something about Padma that seems... not quite right. Maybe it's because she speaks in a monotone and always has exactly the same facial expression? Is she heavily medicated? Is she really an alien?

So! My love, chubby nerd Kevin, won the Quickfire challenge and took the money, which I thought was a smart decision and which I certainly would have done as well. Can he do no wrong? Apparently, no. The fact that he and Jennifer won the Elimination Challenge made me happy as well, because I think they are my two favorites.  At last I'm warming up to Jennifer. Yes, she's a rather brash individual, and a tough cookie, but maybe that harsh exterior of "don't fuck with me because I will cut you" is endearing rather than off-putting to me. I think the final clincher was when I saw her get teary-eyed saying goodbye to Ashley. Then I was like, oh, you have a heart, you feel emotion, I like you.

And speaking of Ashley, I thought her dish (made with Eli) just looked utterly repulsive. There was not one thing about that dish that I wanted to have anything to do with. Probably because beets repulse me. They are the one food I simply cannot get into; they just gross me out. The beet cream, combined with the over-salted gnocchi and the undercooked prawns.... well, it was just a mess. I didn't get how any of it was supposed to work together, even if it had been perfectly executed. How do prawns, gnocchi, and beets in any way, shape, or form suggest being put together in that way?

And I hate Mike. I hate him and he just needs to go home. Granted, Robin is super annoying and has logorrhea, but that's no reason to be a dick to her, because despite her faults, she is nice. He was totally mean to her during the team challenge, taking over even though he had no Asian cooking experience and she had tons, he wouldn't let her do any tasks except menial ones, and he was completely condescending when Tom came around to check in and he treated it as if it were all his challenge, not one he was sharing with a partner. DICK. He needs to go home, pronto. Let's hope that happens soon. As in next episode.

Ah well, Ashley, we bid you adieu. Interesting, Jeremy knows someone who knows someone who looks just like Ashley. But this person is a he, and apparently he has lately been getting approached all the time and asked if he has ever watched the show Top Chef. Awesome! I salute you, gender-neutral contestant!

CHEFTESTANT FAIL #8!