"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize." - Julia Child

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Ring things: Why I don't wear my engagement ring every day

Most ladies, when presented with engagement bling, are thrilled beyond words and barely take off their new jewelry acquisition (if they take it off at all--I know some gals who never remove their rings). I feel like I am already establishing myself as an offbeat bride because I rarely wear my engagement ring.

Before you think I'm some sort of ungrateful woman who doesn't appreciate her gentleman and the gorgeous token he's given her to symbolize their love and commitment, hear me out.

First off, my ring is the wrong size--it's too big. I wasn't sure of my ring size when I ordered my ring from the interwebs--I knew I was between a 5 and a 6--so I played it safe and ordered it a size too big. So even though it fits my finger, it's a bit loose and I was worried about losing it, especially since my fingers tend to contract in size in the winter cold. I wanted to wait to get it adjusted until after I had my wedding band (which I ordered in a size 5, which IS my real size, as you'll see below), so I could see how the two fit together, so in the meantime I went to a jeweler and had them put on an inexpensive ($10) temporary sizer.

The woman at this jewelry store seemed to think she knew more about my own body than I myself do. When I used a sizer to figure out my official size, I was pleased to see that yes, the 5 was indeed the size that felt comfortable on my finger. But the woman made me try on a 4.5 sizer, and that ended up being the size my ring was adjusted to.

"I think the 4.5 is a little tight on me," I said, as I gave the sizer a vigorous twist and pull to get it off my finger.

"No, you're a 4.5," she insisted.

"But it was sort of hard to get that ring off," I persisted, politely. "And my fingers swell in the summer."

"You had no difficulties removing the 4.5 ring," she said, a bit snootily. "That's your size."

I was not going to win here. I sighed and gave up. Fine. I was a 4.5. Whatever.

So since this woman wouldn't listen to me and sized my ring to a 4.5, my ring is just a tad tight, which means it squeezes my finger and gets a tad uncomfortable and leaves an imprint after I wear it for a whole day. So until I take it to get it officially sized in a month or two, I have to deal with the squeezing and the temporary finger disfigurement.

The other reason I don't wear my ring every day is that I work at home, alone. And it's not like I can't just wear the ring for myself, because I could, and I should if I want to, but I just don't think to put it on. Partly because it's a tad too tight as I just described, and partly because I'm just not used to wearing it.

An engagement ring is a very public symbol of a very private thing: a decision between two people to spend the rest of their lives together as a married couple. So maybe I don't remember to wear it when I'm home but I also don't feel the need to wear it, because I know and Jeremy knows that we're getting married, and that's good enough for me. I try to remember to wear it every time I go out, but I don't always remember then either. If I worked outside the home, would I wear it every day? Maybe. There would probably still be days when I forgot though. And I don't think it would be that big of a deal, to me or to Jeremy.

I love it. I love my ring. But I don't necessarily think it's more than that: a ring. A symbol. A beautiful one, but just a symbol. I don't need it to prove anything, because I feel like I have nothing to prove and no one to prove it to.

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