I didn't make that up (and I'm not going to admit whether or not I wish I had). It was on the Bravo website this morning.
Oh Eli. Winner of the Quickfire. Loser of the elimination. I have to say, Bravo is clever, because they were really setting up that judges' table to make it seem like it was going to be Michael who went home (at least that's how it sounded to me), but really, overly fatty sausage IS an unforgiveable sin, in my book.
And yay for my BFF, chubby nerd Kevin! Although apparently the Voltaggio brothers don't think he deserves to be as showered with accolades as he is. ALTHOUGH I thought Bryan was far more diplomatic in expressing his feelings about Kevin than Michael. Bryan just seems like a calm, gentle soul, very thoughtful, solid, and deliberate. I felt bad that he ran out of time and was scrambling with his dish last night, because if not, he probably would have won. I'm getting tired of Michael, because he cops such a major attitude. There's something inherently haughty about him, and that bothers me, because the other cheftestants he's with right now are a pretty decent, modest bunch. I thought it was telling that Bryan pointed out that he wouldn't know if Michael would have given Kevin guidance on how to cook his lamb.
And yes, perhaps Kevin's meal was simpler than it should have been for such an intricate competition, but as the judges pointed out, it was the tastiest and most perfectly exceuted in terms of cooking, so good for Kevin.
I did like Eli, but I thought he was starting to be just slightly out of his element among the Voltaggios, Jennifer, and Kevin. Like he seemed a bit young and unformed still. Like he is getting close to blossoming to his full potential, but he's not completely there. Although the egg he made looked completely delicious and like something I'd LOVE to eat. Mmm. Eggs. Wrapped in bacon.
So here's to Eli, chubby nerd number 2: I hope you continue to do awesome things, I hope you never make a soup of apples and peanuts with popcorn crumbs again, I hope you and Robin don't cross paths again, because it won't be pretty, and I hope that you and I and your glorious Scotch egg can meet someday, because then my tummy would be very happy.
CHEFTESTANT FAIL #13