NaNO (emphasis on the NO) WriMo, and Rolf and Roll #2

November, where are you going? This month is seriously zipping by, and I can't believe how close we are already to the end of the year 2010. Overall it's been a very good year for me, but I can get into an introspective, year-in-review type of post when it's actually nearly the end of the year. For now, Novembery things.

First off, NaNoWriMo. I tried it. I really did. And even though I wrote about 1800 words, I decided that it just wasn't for me. I thought up an idea for my novel and started typing away, trying not to give myself any big expectations and telling myself that anything goes. I didn't have big expectations and I let anything go. The problem was that I wasn't having any fun. I just wasn't enjoying myself at all. I'd think if you're going to do something as completely insane as trying to write a novel in 30 days, you should at least enjoy the ride. But I wasn't enjoying it. At all. I disliked my plot, I disliked my character, I couldn't think up an alternate idea or character to write about, and the pressure of trying to come up with something or someone new to write about just wasn't appealing. So I scrapped the effort and gave myself permission to say, "To hell with this." I'm pleased with that decision for sure. It's been a busy month with work and things, so much so that I've barely had time to think about the fact that I turn 30 (!!) this Sunday, so I figured why add unnecessary anxiety to my life? To sum up, NaNoWriMo is a supposedly fun thing I'll never do again.

Second, my second Rolfing appointment! I realize that I have my third appointment in two days and yet I haven't even written anything about the appointment I had two weeks ago! Ooops. During my second session, Daphne focused on my feet and lower legs as well as my back. Let me tell you much fun it is to have your feet Rolfed. It's not. Feet (at least my feet) are skinny, bony, uncushioned things, so you can really feel every poke, prod, and squinch that's going on down there. My right foot, which is the one with the old ankle injury, was especially unpleasant, and at one point Daphne even said, as she worked on the bottom of my foot, that she could feel that things were "bunched up" in my plantar. I feel like that was a good way of putting it. For the past few months, my right ankle has really bothered me any time I've walked more than a couple of blocks, and I felt like I just wasn't walking right. Everything felt tight and out of wack. So I hoped that the unpleasant foot work she was doing would help.

She also worked on my back. Let me tell you: having my lower back work on was the most painful thing yet. At one point, while she was working on my lower back on the right, I actually gasped and said "Oh my God!" out loud. It was very, very tender. I've often felt like I hold a lot of stress in my lower back. It often feels tense, and whenever I have backaches, this is where the pain tends to be. Even when I've gotten back massages, which are supposed to be a pleasant and lovely thing, I find it painful to have my lower back rubbed in more than a superficial way. Deep tissue massage down there would probably make me cry. Any time it's pressed hard there, I feel tears in my eyes because it feels like ice picks being stabbed into my muscles. Pleasant!

But I know that all of this unpleasantness is for the greater good, so I deep-breathed and gritted my teeth through the pain. She ended by doing a bit of work on my head and jaw, which felt good because my jaw tends to pop and shift around (I wear one heck of a sexy night guard to prevent clenching and grinding). Later that night, Jeremy noticed that I had bruises on my lower back, precisely where it had been most painful to get Rolfed. Oh my! The area wasn't really hurting much anymore, it just looked sort of disturbing.

For a day or two afterward, my feet felt tender and a bit odd, and I kept making Jeremy examine the progress of my bruises until they faded. However, I have noticed a real difference in my ankle. It definitely does not hurt as much, or even in the same place, when I walk now. Most times it doesn't hurt at all, or if it does, it just feels sort of sore right in the joint. Before it used to hurt all over my foot: the joint, the bottom of my foot, the sides of my foot, my arch, my calf. Now it's a lot more subtle, if it happens at all, and a lot more concentrated. In fact, here's how much I believe in Rolfing: I wore a pair of very cute plum-colored pumps last Thursday night to an outing with some lady friends. The heel on these pumps is nice and wide (I can't handle wobbly thin heels) and probably isn't higher than 2 or 2 1/2 inches so it's not like I'm up on shoe stilts or anything. But still. I remember when I'd tried them on the day I bought them in September, it made my ankle ache just to walk in them.

Well, last Thursday I walked all over Harvard Square: to a reading in the bookstore, over the cobblestone sidewalks into the bank, over to a local restaurant. And not once did my ankle complain. It did not hurt AT ALL. Even though I was wearing heels! Even though before my last Rolfing appointment, even walking around in sneakers made my ankle hurt! The only thing I experienced was that the next day, my calves were slightly sore because I'm not used to walking around with my weight shifted in that way, but my feet weren't bothering me at all. Amazing! I am looking forward to telling Daphne about this.

My posture, which was improved after my first visit, has only gotten better after this second visit. I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving next week and surprise my mother with my improved posture, because she was constantly telling me to stand up straight, telling me that I was going to end up a hunch back in my old age because of my terrible slouch. I'm really so grateful for this. Not only do I look better, but I feel better, breathe a bit better, and even walk and hold myself better. I spent several hours standing around in a bar the day after my last Rolfing session, and it wasn't that uncomfortable. At no point did I feel like I absolutely had to sit down, which is how I used to feel before when I had crappier posture.

This Friday, as I mentioned earlier, is my third visit, so I'll be going into my 30th year of life freshly Rolfed and standing even straighter. I've booked my next three appointments. Don't know how many I will end up needing overall, but it really does make me feel better, the way going to a chiropractor or masseuse helps some people--even though sometimes it is painful. I can tolerate a session of discomfort if it means feeling better about myself every day thereafter as a result.

NaNoWriMo

So for the past week or so, I'd been thinking of participating in NaNoWriMo. For those who mistakenly think I just spasmed while typing, rest assured: I'm convulsion free; this is just an abbreviation of National Novel Writing Month. I didn't have terribly long to decide, because NaNoWriMo starts in November, which somehow, inexplicably, is just 3 days away. Seriously, how is it almost November? How is 2010 almost over? Anyway.

You have 30 days to write a novel that is at least 50,000 words long. Obviously most people just use this as an exercise in getting themselves into the practice of writing regularly (a very commendable thing), but some people really do take it seriously and I'm sure many folks actually get a good bulk of usable material out of it.

Why would I subject myself to the insanity (because let's face it, that's what it is) of trying to write 50,000 cohesive words in 30 days? Partly it's because I've sort of always wanted to try NaNoWriMo. Partly it's because November is my birthday month and that makes me excited. But for the most part, because I've been doing NO writing for myself, other than this blog (and even that petered out for a few months there), for the past FIVE YEARS. It's pretty sad, but I've just not made time for myself and my writing projects, even though I love writing and have wanted to write a book since I was 5 years old. I'm one of those people who has a half-finished novel languishing in a drawer somewhere, except that it's not even close to being half finished and it's not in a drawer, just on my hard drive. So I have to do SOMETHING. Honestly, what do I have to lose? Even if I fail to meet the word count, the time I spend writing won't be a waste because it'll be time I used to write, getting my brain and body used to the feeling of putting words down.

This is why I have just signed up to participate. I suppose I am certifiably insane. Or as certifiably insane as the thousands of other people who have signed up for this.

But this is a year that seems particularly significant to me. I've started a job doing what I really love, I'm feeling comfortable about myself emotionally and physically, I'm turning 30. I'm finally starting to feel like I get it. Like things are falling into place somehow. It's tough for me to describe (which must mean something, since I'm a writer and descriptions are my job), but I just have this feeling that is saying, yes, go ahead and do this crazy thing! So I've gone ahead and done it. Hopefully I will be feeling sane enough to actually post regular updates on here about how I'm doing with this.

If you want to join in the insanity, click on the link in the first paragraph and join in the wackiness. Insanity loves company, right? At least when it's the insanity related to writing a novel in a month.

Now I just have to figure out what to write about...